no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
