her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
