What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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