yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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