Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
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