I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
