Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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