the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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