He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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