I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
