he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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