Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
