maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
