Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
