if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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