She just used a chaser for red wine.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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