I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Everclear isn't food dammit
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
