Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Enjoy the penises
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
