he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
