Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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