i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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