Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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