and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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