We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
