who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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