he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
