3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
