dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
