He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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