So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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