btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
