I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
