So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
