We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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