I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize