Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
