I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
we're so committed to being not committed
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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