people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
