I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The adults are the big ones right?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
