If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
