He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
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We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
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Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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