I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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