so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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