Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I have post one night stand depression
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