I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The uberlube is also flammable
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Randomize
