She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize