I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
