So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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