I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
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You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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