I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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