I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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