I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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