Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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