Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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