i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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