i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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