i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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