I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize