Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Are we still banned from the library?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
