honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
