I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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