o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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