after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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