Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
